The Autonomous Mind

Notice of termination

2007-02-05T01:00:00.000Z

My pc sucks. Anyways, enough moaning. This blog is officially closed.

Lolita

2007-01-29T13:14:00.000Z

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

Best book I've read in years.

The bug

2006-12-11T00:27:00.000Z

The blogging bug almost struck...but not quite. I'm off to India in a week. Ain't it cool?

Quality

2006-12-09T02:45:00.000Z

Link of the year I say!

Condoms 'too big' for Indian men

Chiho Aoshima

2006-12-05T18:05:00.000Z

Legend!

http://www.blumandpoe.com/chihoaoshima/

ISFDB

2006-10-30T22:40:00.000Z

Ok, I cannot believe I have never come across this before. Awesome!

The Internet Speculative Fiction Database

Official Borat Homesite

2006-10-27T16:25:00.000+01:00

Official Borat Homesite

SUPERB!

Tuesdays and Thursdays

2006-10-25T14:46:00.000+01:00

Amazing, I just realised last night that most Tuesday and Thursday evenings, after 530ish I talk to absolutely no one till the next day. Not a soul. Quite amazed by that.

Hotties

2006-10-24T11:10:00.000+01:00

Forget Ash vs Sush (Sush wins hands down of course), the real competition is Zeenat vs Parveen. I'm not sure who I'd choose (you decide) from these two but can I just say that these two are still the hottest ever to hit Bollywood. CHAMON!

Figured!

2006-10-15T22:59:00.000+01:00

Sid and I figured it out just today- how do you know if a girl fancies you...?

SHE'LL MESSAGE YOU FIRST!

Such a simple action for such complex purposes..

Latin Erotica!

2006-10-15T22:52:00.000+01:00

Found this while clearing out my old flat today! SUPREME! I love Latin verse- so plain and in your face

Ovid - Love in the afternoon (from Ars Amatoria)

It was very hot. The day had gone just past its noon. I'd stretched out on a couch to take a nap. One of the window-shutters was open, one was closed.
The light was like you'd see deep in the woods, or like the glow of dusk when Phoebus leaves the sky,
or when night pales, and day has not yet dawned,
- a perfect light for girls with too much modesty, where anxious Shame can hope to hide away.
When, look! here comes Corinna in a loose ungirded gown, her parted hair framing her gleaming throat,
like lovely Semiramis entering her boudoir, or fabled Lais, loved by many men.
I tore her gown off - not that it mattered, being so sheer, and yet she fought to keep that sheer gown on;
but since she fought with no great wish for victory, she lost, betraying herself to the enemy.
And as she stood before me, her garment all thrown off, I saw a body perfect in every inch:
What shoulders, what fine arms I looked on - and embraced!
What lovely breasts, begging to be caressed! How smooth and flat a belly under a compact waist!
And the side view - what a long and youthful thigh! But why go into details? Each point deserved its praise.
I clasped her naked body close to mine. You can fill in the rest.
We both lay there, worn out. May all my afternoons turn out this well.

Abject boredom

2006-10-15T22:44:00.000+01:00

Good weekend, bad weekend or so so weekend? Who cares- it was just another 2 days I live for! Watched "The Departed"- awesome movie! Great direction- really well shot and good acting. Mark Wahlberg and Leo DiCaprio were phenomenal. Plot seemed a little bit contrived but worked on the whole.

Oh man, I'm so fucking bored.

The Song of Despair

The memory of you emerges from the night around me.
The river mingles its stubborn lament with the sea.

Deserted like the dwarves at dawn.
It is the hour of departure, oh deserted one!

Cold flower heads are raining over my heart.
Oh pit of debris, fierce cave of the shipwrecked.

In you the wars and the flights accumulated.
From you the wings of the song birds rose.

You swallowed everything, like distance.
Like the sea, like time. In you everything sank!

It was the happy hour of assault and the kiss.
The hour of the spell that blazed like a lighthouse.

Pilot's dread, fury of blind driver,
turbulent drunkenness of love, in you everything sank!

In the childhood of mist my soul, winged and wounded.
Lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

You girdled sorrow, you clung to desire,
sadness stunned you, in you everything sank!

I made the wall of shadow draw back,
beyond desire and act, I walked on.

Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost,
I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you.

Like a jar you housed infinite tenderness.
and the infinite oblivion shattered you like a jar.

There was the black solitude of the islands,
and there, woman of love, your arms took me in.

There was thirst and hunger, and you were the fruit.
There were grief and ruins, and you were the miracle.

Ah woman, I do not know how you could contain me
in the earth of your soul, in the cross of your arms!

How terrible and brief my desire was to you!
How difficult and drunken, how tensed and avid.

Cemetery of kisses, there is still fire in your tombs,
still the fruited boughs burn, pecked at by birds.

Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.

Oh the mad coupling of hope and force
in which we merged and despaired.

And the tenderness, light as water and as flour.
And the word scarcely begun on the lips.

This was my destiny and in it was my voyage of my longing,
and in it my longing fell, in you everything sank!

Oh pit of debris, everything fell into you,
what sorrow did you not express, in what sorrow are you not drowned!

From billow to billow you still called and sang.
Standing like a sailor in the prow of a vessel.

You still flowered in songs, you still brike the currents.
Oh pit of debris, open and bitter well.

Pale blind diver, luckless slinger,
lost discoverer, in you everything sank!

It is the hour of departure, the hard cold hour
which the night fastens to all the timetables.

The rustling belt of the sea girdles the shore.
Cold stars heave up, black birds migrate.

Deserted like the wharves at dawn.
Only tremulous shadow twists in my hands.

Oh farther than everything. Oh farther than everything.

It is the hour of departure. Oh abandoned one!

Pablo Neruda

And now for the unprofound:

Aaron Smith ft. Luvli - Dancing

All the time,
My baby you on my mind,
And I don't know why,
Yeah but the feeling is fine,
Can't you see,
Honey you are for me,
Though it weren't meant to be

Dancin' in the moonlight
Gazing at the stars so bright,
Holding you until the sunrise
Sleeping until the midnight

[Chorus: (x3)]
Dancin' is what to do,
Dancin's when I think of you,
Dancin's what makes my soul,
Dancin's what makes me whole

Everytime when I look in your eyes
That smile was crying that you were mine
Do you know, your love is true I know,
You are the best thing that has happened to me

Dancin' in the moonlight
Gazing at the stars so bright,
Holding you until the sunrise
Sleeping until the midnight

[Chorus (x4)]
Dancin' is what to do,
Dancin's when I think of you,
Dancin's what makes my soul,
Dancin's what makes me whole

Get up on the floor,
Dancin' all night long,
Get up on the floor,
Dancin' till the break of dawn,
Get up on the floor,
Dancin' till the break of dawn,
Get up on the floor,
Dancin' till the break of, dancin'

Dancin'..
Oh Dancin'..
Dancin'..
Oh Dancin'..
Dancin'..
Oh Dancin'

Summary

2006-10-09T10:40:00.000+01:00

vNES

Wicked! Check it out!

**************************************

Saw Neve Campbell at Cafe Pacifico last Wednesday- she's cute as and much taller (heels?) than she seems on tv.

**************************************

And, in preparation for the new Don, a whole group of us watched the old Don at Dudu's place on Sunday. What a wicked movie and the background music was awesome. 70s music rocked!

**************************************

Watched The Black Dahlia on Saturday. Ok, unspectacular. Good picturisation (I love the 40s/50s style), Scarlett Johansson and Hilary Swank were hot and Josh Hartnett did a good job with the role. The plot was a little "convenient" and well LA Confidential was infinitely better. Would have worked so much better as a thriller if the plot wasn't handed to you on a platter- obvious and a little contrived.

Sacred Games - Vikram Chandra

2006-10-01T23:25:00.000+01:00

Vikram Chandra is so damn talented, I'm aghast. Fine Sacred Games wasn't the most coherent piece of work he's ever likely to write but his writing is superb- fluent and so acutely expressive of nuance. A talent like that is beyond me!

Anyways, so Sacred Games was good, not great, good. Sartaj Singh, our protagonist (from Love and Longing in Bombay), runs across some information on Ganesh Gaitonde (the STAR of the book), one of India's top criminals (Don, Bhai whatever) and in effect cannot believe his luck when he actually corners the hitherto untraceable villain in the centre of Mumbai. And so unfolds our story of intrigue and mystery taking us through the Mumbai underworld, Police corruption, Bollywood, Arthur Road Jail and on to the more affluent confines of the far east and back again.

Sacred Games compares favourably in terms of authencity against books such as Suketu Mehta's Maximum City (Chandra is mentioned in the book by Mehta as one of "his friends Vikram" who was researching the underworld at the same time as him) and of course Shantaram. It talks of Mumbai as most people I know talk about it- as a living, breathing wild beast always on the move; ruthless and kind in equal measure. Hell, the detail is such that he even mentions "Gokul ice-cream parlour in Santacruz", a place very close to my heart during my childhood days. Having said that however I still felt the plot was a little weak given the magnificent setting of Gopalmath and Kailashpada and Bombay in general. The reader was spoon-fed the plot- a more miserly approach to detail would have involved the reader to a greater extent I feel despite some of the contrivances.

Anyways, now that the bad is out of the way, let's talk about the good- there's so much to say! The writing- the Hinglish- was brilliant! Sacred Games is unique in that it doesn't bother translating hindi slang- it leaves it there for the reader to decipher (if they don't know it of course). For me, it added a whole other dimension to the book- I honestly did feel like a movie director watching actors churn out exquisite lines in ultrapure Mumbaiyya Hindi. It made the book feel more earthy and closer to the main characters such as Ganesh Gaitonde. And what a character he was- the uber-gangbanger Ganesh Gaitonde (Bhai), cool but temperamental, cruel and kind, vengeful, lustful and so much more. Ganesh is the absolute cornerstone of the book, lending it sufficient substance and gravitas for the reader to feel totally immersed in his world. The blend of violence and sex in his chapters will keep you hooked- they're masterpieces one and all.

Nevertheless, beyond these flashes of brilliance though lies the flawed and overindulgent plot that devours some of the lustre of Sacred Games. Is it as good as Red Earth and Pouring Rain? I doubt it despite the difference in genre. I'd definitely recommend it but I'm sure once can wait for the paperback version- a little more value for money.

Kinda scary...

2006-09-28T11:47:00.000+01:00

Tamil people are so weird!

YouTube - "Little Superstar"

Foolish

2006-09-25T20:05:00.000+01:00

I think the worst thing about disappointment is how you are fooled by the general stupidity of your own expectations. The problem now is the fact that, hitherto, I seem to discover disappointment quite frequently, thrusting me towards that most logical conclusion that I must be genuinely foolish not to understand the nature of what I usually get myself into. Err...shit?

fool‧ish /ˈfulɪʃ/ Pronunciation Key - Show Spelled Pronunciation[foo-lish] Pronunciation Key - Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1. resulting from or showing a lack of sense; ill-considered; unwise: a foolish action, a foolish speech.
2. lacking forethought or caution.
3. trifling, insignificant, or paltry.
[Origin: 1250–1300; ME folish, foolish. See fool1, -ish1]

Talent

2006-09-21T23:53:00.000+01:00

Sweet Jesus, is this dude (Anyone seen Bender) a talented writer! Most impressed! Found the blog here (randomly enough).

Vikram Chandra

2006-09-18T23:35:00.000+01:00

I'm reading Sacred Games at the moment and loving every minute of it. However, I've been a fan of Vikram Chandra ever since I read Red Earth and Pouring Rain in 2002/2003 and Love and Longing in Bombay straight after. I'll write a review of Sacred Games later but here's an old review (oh how I cringe at the writing) of Red Earth. Enjoy:

Finally a modern Indian author who understands what good fiction is all about- stories. And if it’s stories you’re after then Vikram Chandra has copious amounts to offer in his first book- Red earth and pouring rain.

Taking its name from a 4th Century Tamil poem, Chandra’s novel is a rollercoaster ride through drama and comedy and magic both in the past and present. Some of the contrasts couldn’t be more glaring and yet they are tied together by a small yet wonderfully relevant aspect- stories. As in Ovid’s Metamorphoses where the single common element is change, the stories that each character conveys are the threads that bind each page together.

The plot spans across space and time from early colonial India to modern America with our main protagonists being Sanjay, a warrior-poet reincarnated as a monkey and Abhay, a young student from America. And it is their stories that we encounter at every turn, interwoven with rambling perfection. While Sanjay recounts his own view of history from around 1750-1900 during the fall of the Mughal Empire to the establishment of the British as colonizers (We come across fascinating Indian and colonial figures such as Benoit de Boigne, Begum Sumroo and James Skinner to name but a few), Abhay gives his own view of life as a culture-clashed and confused college lad in late 20th Century America.

The end product is almost epic in scope where the Gods (Yama and Hanuman in particular) play pivotal roles and the influence of the British Raj materialises even in modern day America. The brashness of modern America itself provides a telling counterpoint to the richness of the Indian past where Abhay’s youthful experiences are directly in contrast to Sanjay’s own youth. The mood encompasses romance, war, magic, destruction, love and betrayal with varying degrees of indulgence and the characters themselves are very warm, vibrant and accessible. In fact, being in a similar position to Abhay, having been educated abroad, some of the insecurities he feels are so tangible and real, it’s unnerving. Sanjay though is a more complex persona and his metamorphosis from poet to warrior is an unrelenting emotional journey strewn with sacrifices galore. His confrontations are at once magical and very real and fantastically well portrayed.

Chandra’s prose is artistically crafted and employs many literary techniques such as magical realism and metafiction. The literary symbols he uses are profound and come sans the added baggage of cliché. What makes the book so good though is the final cohesion of all the stories we encounter. Although it is not unexpected, the masterful way in which he crafts the climax is brutal to the senses and leaves them confused but at the same time exhilarated.

All in all Red earth and pouring rain is an engaging and intellectual book that philosophizes and entertains and does so with a refinement and panache that’s rarely evident today. A MUST READ!

Under the sea!

2006-09-16T01:27:00.000+01:00

Under the sea
Under the sea
Darling it's better
Down where it's wetter
Take it from me

Don't you love Disney?

Haroon dancing

2006-09-14T16:10:00.000+01:00

Err...weird or what?

He's back

2006-09-14T15:39:00.000+01:00

Oh yes, Sachin's back!

A senior correspondent who had watched him since he was a precocious teenager likened his batting to Zakir Hussain's tabla-playing. "Even if he's playing on a cupboard door, he can still make beautiful music. And Tendulkar's the same, no matter what the conditions." After this particular epic, you could only nod in awestruck agreement.

I know, I know we lost but well...HE'S GOT 40 100s!!!!

**Update

One more good 'un.

Vidz

2006-09-14T00:35:00.000+01:00

The best movie review show on TV ever!

Vidz

Found it!

2006-09-11T02:17:00.000+01:00

From the Ford Focus ad: I Monster - Daydream in Blue. Particularly awesome! Lyrics below and listen here.

Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers
for a couple of hours on a beautiful day

Daydream, I dreamed of you amid the flowers
for a couple of hours, such a beautiful day!

I dreamed of the places I've been with you
how we sat with the stream flowing by

And then when I kissed you and held you so near tell me why, tell me why you're so shy?

Daydream, I fell asleep amid the flowers
for a couple of hours on a beautiful day

Daydream, come share a dream amid the flowers for a couple of hours on a beautiful day

I dreamed of the places I've been with you
how we sat with the stream flowing by

And then when I kissed you and held you so near
tell me why, tell me why you're so shy?

Daydream, I sing with you amid the flowers
for a couple of hours, singing all of the day

Na na na na na na na, na
Na na na na na, na
Na na na na na na na, na
Na na na na na, na
Na na na na na na na, na
Na na na na na, na

Na na na na na na na, na
Na na na na na, na
Na na na na na na na, na
Na na na na na, na
Na na na na na na na, na
Na na na na na, na

To Fade

Attachment vs Love

2006-09-09T03:48:00.000+01:00

I am rarely blown away by any orator but today it happened one and a half times. I'll not go into the "half" because it's work related but the "one" I will definitely go into. I was immensely sceptical about going for the Life Management Techniques talk- I'm too used to being told the obvious by too many Swamijis. However, Swami Swaroopananda was different.

The premise of the entire thing was Managing Love and Relationships and we started off by attempting to understand the role of love across humanity before focusing in on the individual. Love, he said, is found most easily when we attempt to establish commonality with our antagonisers. Moreover and more importantly, it is essential not to wait to for love to come to you but to love freely because it is only in giving love that we receive it back. There were so many fantastic anecdotes from his experience that it's a pity I didn't take notes ho hum...

The focus then shifted on to the individual where he talked about love being a state of fulfilment as opposed to desire- a sharp insight that flowed straight through to the heartbeat of the discussion- what love is. Love can be divided into two categories- superficial and substantial / real (sneha and prema in sanskrit) that then need to be re-labelled attachment and love (english, inadequately enough, only has one word for love hence the relabelling). Attachment, he explained, was a semi-permanent state while Love was a permanent state. Attachment was associated with insecurity and lack of trust while Love was perfectly secure. Ultimately, the insight that we were given was quite profound- attachment means you "love" someone because of something; love means you "love" someone despite everything- all their flaws and complexities- the whole lot! (Definitely struck a chord with me..)

And so we moved on to the actual tips on relationships, which were the concluding act and quite simple they were. Communicate, love generously and bring up your children with affection and discipline, instilling the right values in them early on and giving them the ability to make the right choices as human beings. La fin.

On reading this post, the whole conversation sounds exceptionally staid and I lack far too much talent to extol the virtues of Swami Swaroopananda's oratory or provide a taste of his anecdotes, which were appropriate and excellent. I immensely enjoyed the enthusiasm and gusto with which he engaged the audience and of course his conviction and humility shone through in every sentence. His Gibran quotes were well chosen and relevant and moreover, the information sources he calls upon are vast and impressive.

The worst thing about this post is me really- I'm unable to provide enough material from an anecdotal / example viewpoint for discussion or argument (my memory fails me). But hey, what to do eh? Suffice to say, I enjoyed it immensely and maybe...just maybe...might go for another one. He he. Sleep well...

Life Management

2006-09-07T22:00:00.000+01:00

I'm going for this tomorrow- Managing Love and Relationships to be more specific. I helped out one of the organisers handout fliers and all and well she was insistent I be there? I've never been to a "talk" focused on life. It's usually religious or some old guruji telling me the difference between right and wrong with some of the more mundanely obvious statements on the planet. Hell it'll be a refreshing change to go for a talk of my own accord with no pressure from parents who believe I am some ungodly spawn of Lucifer, Osama B-L or Bush (but he's white....). And no- it's not about chicks; it's got a more definitive focus on family and friends. FREAKS the lot of you!

Which is the definitive Star Trek?

2006-09-04T11:52:00.000+01:00

For all you trekkie geeks!

Which is the definitive Star Trek?

Mine was definitely TNG however, now that I think about it, I was pretty hard pressed over deciding which one I liked best. Let me see:

1. Star Trek - Captain Kirk is probably the coolest man ever on TV. Rock star! However, despite some high drama, it never had story lines that were hugely or consistently compelling and Bones was a dick!

2. Star Trek Movies - Nah...

3. The Next Generation - Picard was awesome, Data was fantastic and Geordi could always get a little more power by re-routing the eps conduits through something or the other! Oh and they had Q and Wesley "The Mormon" Crusher. CLASS!!

4. DS9 - Dark and cool and a slightly more sophisticated take on the Trek world with Cardassia, Bajor and the wormhole. The story lines were always a little more compelling with all the characters battling either mentally or physically with a vast variety of issues.

5. Voyager - Wicked crew (Seven of Nine!), slightly irritating yet tough captain and an impossible situation. I really liked it with the only downside being Neelix- what a tit!

6. Enterprise - In a word- SHITE!

Anyways, that's my view. Let me know what you think...

French Kissing in the USA

2006-09-04T00:28:00.000+01:00

Oh man! It's been ages since I heard this song- so kitsch but how can you not love it? Came across the video on MTV today; man Debbie Harry (Blondie is the band remember?!) was so hot- the original rock chick. I think that's where I got my leather fetish from ... err. Anyways a blast from the past that made me reminisce of childhood days- always improves my general demeanour for the rest of the week at least. Firmly entrenched in my ipod playlist and likely to become a candidate for one-track repeat for a while now.

Why?

2006-08-24T10:16:00.000+01:00

Why are some people such chuts?

Row over Hitler-themed restaurant

**Edit: To clarify- I'm talking about the owner, who seems like a pretty thick and ignorant twat! In his own words:

"Just like Hitler wanted to conquer the world, I want to conquer at least my area through the food served in my restaurant."

A Hairy Day of Cricket

2006-08-21T10:55:00.000+01:00

I must say, I'm not surprised that it's Darrel Hair who's at the heart of this contorversy. He's a little too trigger happy, especially when it comes to the "non-white" personalities in the game. I'm not a fan of Pakistani cricket but here's my tuppence.

*He provided no evidence whatsoever of ball-tampering and there is no video evidence either as sky have stated, so there is no question of ball tampering.

*When you thump a couple of sixes into the stand a la Pietersen, the ball will inevitably get scuffed.

*Moreover, the umps got suspicious because of the reverse swinging delivery that got Cook out- well to be honest that was the ONLY good quick delivery that swung the whole afternoon pretty much; you cannot base tampering on one good delivery.

My verdict- bump hair off the icc elite list. He's lost confidence among the asian cricketing community (called murali and shoaib for chucking, ran Inzy out when he was not out a while ago) and has brought the game into disrepute because of this.

Wicked!

2006-08-18T11:18:00.000+01:00

Free games for your mobile phone! And they bloody work!

GameJump: Mobile Games. Free.

Advice

2006-08-18T00:22:00.000+01:00

So I speak to a "friend" today who tells me

a) I'm negative,
b) I need to see a therapist (err what?!)
c) Everyone has issues so I shouldn't feel upset about mine because life is not easy and full of issues

Let me respond in kind:

a) I can be- agreed but I just like to moan
b) NO
c) Fuck off and sermonise elsewhere and thanks for stating the fucking obvious

Now tell me, why are people not only condescending but too blind to see that they look like complete assholes trying to act mature and passing on their staid, unrequested and unrequired advice? Answers on a postcard please.

Wouldn't it be cool...

2006-08-14T15:00:00.000+01:00

...if real life had background music?

Utter PAP!

2006-08-13T02:28:00.000+01:00

It's ironic that I've been railing inside for yonks now about people being self-absorbed and yet it is I, yes moi, who writes this blog. How stupid is that? Just finished watching Mangal Pandey- utter pile of dogshit. Aamir Khan, as usual, does a respectable job and so does the white guy, Toby Stephens but aside from that it was unengaging and boring.

The camerawork was ok (not exceptional), dialogues contrived and story-line adulterated with far too much chaff to be substantial enough. And amazingly enough, it got a 7.7 on IMDb- how?! I'm pretty into the whole Azad India and krantikari scene when it comes to movies etc but for the first time in my life not only did I not feel a lump in my throat (or tears welling up), I fell asleep and couldn't wait for the movie to be over. Hence the original epithet- dogshit!

I mean the last two or three Aamir movies (RDB, Fanaa and this) have all really been pretty much dogshit. (I know people will bitch and moan about RDB but it was utter fucking rubbish in my opinion). I mean I'd hardly call any of them progressive cinema in any way and if you want to make blockbusters or deal with themes, progress your stories in a sensible and coherent manner. As far as Mangal Pandey was concerned, I'm not quite sure how a film that had people like Rani Mukherjee and Amisha Patel getting 35-40mins of screen time for no purpose (did they really make the characters more rounded- like fuck they did!) claim an self-respect. Sigh...if you've seen it, I'm sorry. If you haven't, avoid it like syphilis...

Weird

2006-08-12T03:43:00.000+01:00

Hmm...why do I fancy Konkona Sen Sharma so much?

Love, longing and time travel

2006-08-06T02:56:00.000+01:00

I've said it so many times before it's becoming a cliche but having finished reading "The Time Traveler's Wife" by Audrey Niffenegger I feel I've lost a couple of best mates telling me their most intimate stories. The premise is pretty simple if a little unlikely- Henry has a genetic disease that causes him to travel back and forth in time. At the age of 36 he travels back in time and meets Clare, his life, his love who is just 6 years old. And so unfolds their tale of love and longing.

The characters' personality permeates through the pages of the book and osmose through every pore of your body. The strength of their passion and the unflagging commitment to each other is beautifully developed throughout the course of the book. Henry is brilliant as the endless drifter through the sea of time, going unknowingly wherever the floods take him. Clare is the rising sun- bright, consumed by love for Henry and always waiting for his return. They were both wonderfully written and their story grows so naturally, so organically it seems as if Time really is nothing. All in all, I loved it. Best book I've read (not re-read) since the Kite Runner.

Tragedy

2006-07-31T14:53:00.000+01:00

'How can we stand by and allow this to go on?'

Tragedy of the highest order. And beyond that, 25 are kidnapped in Iraq. Unreal...

Memories and Alcohol

2006-07-30T03:21:00.000+01:00

Memories and emotions are like alcohol and hangovers- you get drunk first and then feel the pain. Anyways, before I clarify further, let me just say, for the benefit of probably the two people who read this blog (K&M) and actually share the love; I'm just sad and a little messed up but not at all suicidal. So anyways, alcohol and memories and hangovers and pain.

I thought I'd remedy feeling shit by going to a friend's house cooling party (he's vacating you see) and trying to have some fun. It started off well- very well but then you know life catches up to you. Shruts was there and it was good to catch up with her but what's amazing is how old memories flooded back- of love and companionship- a time when feeling alone was out of the question. I know, I know, she's from the past but it's weird- I always felt we had this connection you know. Like I've had with other people I have deeply loved and it's a connection I just don't lose. Today it felt severed. That hurt.

More than that, all I could taste was the contrast between the days of yore and the loneliness of now- that pitched battle between guilt and grief where either side only wins phyrric victories. How resilient we are, us humans, that we can move on from even the most deeply entrenched mental connections.

You know, someone read my palm when I was younger and said that I'd never find real love- just an imitation of it. I personally still think they're wrong but on some days, just a few mind, I hearken back to that memory and panic a little; what if she was right? To backpack through the hills of life all alone, without a guide or companion to share the feel of the undulating breeze through the grassy mists, driving ever forward into your "so called" life- all alone- what an incredibly lonely thought. Man, I really miss dad...

Letting Go - Nitin Sawhney

Now I often talk of my heart
How can I turn to the dark
And the swaying silence
I see, is nothing I can hold on to
You can’t breathe if I hold you tight
You can not breathe if I hold you tight

Don’t be afraid of letting go
Don’t be afraid of letting go

Not of anything out of anyone
All alone here with my demons
Am I ready to move on?
To a person or place
A long away from here
And I miss you
And I lose you
And I find you
I choose to follow my heart

Don’t be afraid of letting go
Don’t be afraid of letting go

Not of anything out of anyone
Out of anything out of anyone

Don’t be afraid of letting go X6

Paradox

2006-07-26T00:24:00.000+01:00

It's weird- you know there have been thousands of years of human history and here we are, in the now, and I wonder always why is that I was born now- in this era / capsule of time. It's strange- the self that I am now could have been born at any time so why now? Why here?

Anyways, I keep making so many faux pas' at work, I'm beginning to think I might be sabotaging my own career. I guess a sincere and severe lack of motivation contributes to it all and what people don't seem to understand is that I need a break- a real holiday without worrying about anyone or anything- not think about my father for 5minutes, no factories, flats, insurance, work or GMAT. Nothing at all. Just an ocean, a beach, some sun and a couple of books.

But I know even that's not going to happen- the guilt I'm racked with for reasons unknown (sadness for my mother?) leaves me almost sick to my stomach. And well I miss dad a lot- I really regret not even being able to speak to him before he went unconscious and then passed on. It's a sick feeling- I had so much to say. So much to apologise for and so much respect to offer. Sometimes, I'm walking around and it occurs to me that I might not see him again or hear his voice and it still strikes me as immeasurably sorrowful that such a void exists in my life.

What's worse is that it's then that I start to feel irritated with me- why am I feeling sorry for myself? I think about what's going on in the world and this is such a microcosm- 4 UN Peacekeepers were killed by Israeli soldiers today- imagine the void in their families and of course the families of all the thousands that have died in the Middle East this past year. So yes, I loathe myself for feeling sorry for myself but then it hurts to hold back the feelings...I dunno it's this weird catch 22. Anyways, enough. I'm going to stop! I'm not sure I can handle talking about it much more.

"AH!", he says in wonderment....

2006-07-25T11:40:00.000+01:00

Having weaned myself off it for months, I have now rediscovered the wonders of di.fm! And now I think of it, how could I ever have left it! CLASSIC!

Oh, reading Talking it over by Julian Barnes at the mo. Good writing, interesting (but unsympathetic characters) and of course lots of betrayal. So far, so good. You know, reading things like this makes me realise just how human it is to lie and hurt people for our own selfish needs. And lo, what's next on the list- Betrayal by Harold Pinter- supposed to be a classic play. I think this is going to be my reading theme for this summer- a strong dose of nefarious deeds and broken hearts.

Invasion

2006-07-21T13:40:00.000+01:00

Israeli army calls up reserves as ground invasion looms

Israel paves way for ground invasion

What the fuck is going on here? Indiscriminate use of excessive force! I mean come on, it's about 2 kidnapped soldiers and please don't give me principles and all that shit. Stop killing innocent people and destroying countries for no reason for God's sake! I mean just out of sheer numbers, you can say that this is wrong, forget principles. The world is a real shit-hole at the moment!

Sadness

2006-07-18T00:15:00.000+01:00

I don't know why I write this thing anymore. Maybe it's just a good place to vent out. It's strange because I cared so much readership a year ago and now the fewer I get, the better it is because it's all the more private. It does feel good to write though- it's been far too long and I've wanted so bad to let so much out of me.

Sorrow and sadness are like a drive through the hills- sometimes it's up, sometimes down and although the hills roll past the mists of pain never subside. I could never have imagined I would feel like this- the nausea, stress, apathy and tirades of sadness flooding over the plains of normality. Honestly speaking, I've grown and gained in confidence and yet I haven't felt so insecure- like an infant crawling from his enclosure for the first time.

But should I tell you what the pain really feels like? It's like waking up on a winter's morning, the sky streaked with cloudy greyness, the cold rain pouring onto your taut skin and dripping onto the street, the icy mists biting into you as the wind blows leaves off trees. And on a morning like this, it's as if you feel all the sorrow you ever felt weighing down your already heavy heart all at once, trying to break out of your mouth in a cry of anguish and from your eyes like a teary rainstorm.

I grimace even thinking of the bad days but fortunately for me, they are few and far between. Time heals almost everything but some wounds are just a little too deep. Sleep well...

The Bombings

2006-07-12T13:10:00.000+01:00

What scared me most is the proximity of the blasts to where my family (and I when I'm in Bombay) live- just 10mins from Khar and/or Santacruz station. Who knows who did it- it's being blamed on Kashmiri Separatists and Islamic Jihadi groups based in Pakistan like the LeT but the fact of the matter is that it's utterly despicable. There are so many atrocities taking place all over the world at the moment that it pains me to think of the future of humanity. And, as always, it's the poor that suffer the most. A real pity. I don't have words to describe the cowardice of terrorism and of forced military occupation- it's a zero sum game no matter how you look at it. I am moved to wonder if this sort of viciousness will ever end..

Allez Zizou!!

2006-07-10T13:12:00.000+01:00

http://tonaz.altervista.org/zidane.html

Class!

Forza Italia!

2006-07-09T22:52:00.000+01:00

FORZA ITALIA! Superb victory amid absolutely disgraceful behaviour from Zizou! Who'd have thought at the start of the tournament that Italy would win and that too on pens! COME ON!

Headhunter!

2006-07-06T17:06:00.000+01:00

Damn! Shit! It's WHACK!!

BBC NEWS | South Asia | India skull man pulls huge crowds

Alligator Trick Gone Wrong

2006-07-04T15:02:00.000+01:00

AWESOME!!! This has to be the stupidest guy on the planet!

Alligator Trick Gone Wrong

Mr Objective!

2006-07-02T13:53:00.000+01:00

This is absolutely class!!! Listen to the first few seconds and then scroll to about 1min 40sec and wait for it! Tells the aussies to essentially "fuck off" (not in so many words though). CLASS!

YouTube - Italy v Australia (Huang Jianxiang, CCTV)

Londonstani

2006-06-28T22:12:00.000+01:00

Just started reading this book in-flight today and am absolutely hoooked. Fantastic read- really well drawn out characters and although the plot is a bit weak, the humour and a certain "je ne sais quoi" make it unputdownable. Definitely check it out!

Londonstani - Gautam Malkani

Bump

2006-06-23T21:35:00.000+01:00

Rohit says (01:49):

anyways, i bumped into kareena kapoor and shahid kapur today

she's good looking man

he's a bit of a gay-boy

really camp

XXXX says (01:49):

hahahah really

Rohit says (01:49):

yeah

XXXX says (01:49):

i dislike both

Rohit says (01:49):

quite funny

XXXX says (01:49):

did you get a autograph

Rohit says (01:49):

anyways, they were being followed

and i kinda was walking towards them and bumped shoulders and said

sorry..

and err..

XXXX says (01:49):

haha

Rohit says (01:49):

they were like- it's ok

XXXX says (01:50):

nice

Rohit says (01:50):

i smiled and i walked off

XXXX says (01:50):

bet you were like mouth open

Rohit says (01:50):

not really

in bombay u see these people all the time

i was just like

wow, check out those tits

XXXX says (01:50):

hmm true

hahahahhaha

rohit

Rohit says (01:50):

XXXX says (01:51):

im laughing at ur comment

but u were always blunt

her tits lol

Rohit says (01:51):

it's true

The Power of Human Expression

2006-06-20T22:02:00.000+01:00

Easily the best ad on Indian TV. Absolutely fabulous!

The Power of Human Expression - Airtel Ad

Youth

2006-06-20T21:41:00.000+01:00

Laying back in bed, staring at the ceiling and Bolo Tara Rara by Daler Mehendi begins to play on the laptop speakers. My mind races back nine years to a wedding and a beautiful girl wearing a maroony-brown chanya choli with mischief in her big, brown eyes and a lilting giggle that hit me for six every time. Ah, the freshness of youth- how much has come to pass in these intervening years...

Tu hi meri shab hai

2006-06-17T23:08:00.000+01:00

Music- o how it consoles the heart. Especially this song:

tu hi meri shab hai subha hai tu hi din hai mera
tu hi mera rab hai jahaan hai tu hi meri duniya
tu waqt mere liye main hoon tera lamha
kaise rahega bhala hoke tu mujhse judaa
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o
tu hi meri shab hai subha hai tu hi din hai mera
tu hi mera rab hai jahaan hai tu hi meri duniya
tu waqt mere liye main hoon tera lamha
kaise rahega bhala hoke tu mujhse judaa
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o

aankhon se padhke tujhe dil pe maine likha
tu ban gaya hai mere jeene ki ek wajah
ho aankhon se padhke tujhe dil pe maine likha
tu ban gaya hai mere jeene ki ek wajah
teri hasi teri adaa auron se hai bilkul judaa
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o

aankhen teri shabnami chehra tera aaina
tu hai udaasi bhari koi haseen dastaan
ho aankhen teri shabnami chehra tera aaina
tu hai udaasi bhari koi haseen dastaan
dil mein hai kya kuchh toh bata
kyon hai bhala khud se khafa
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o

tu hi meri shab hai subha hai tu hi din hai mera
tu hi mera rab hai jahaan hai tu hi meri duniya
tu waqt mere liye main hoon tera lamha
kaise rahega bhala hoke tu mujhse judaa
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o...

Translated:

You are my dusk and my dawn
my world, my universe.
You are my time while I'm but a moment to you,
How can any good come out of being away from you?
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o
[repeat]

I read you through my eyes and wrote into my heart
That you are the reason I live
[repeat]
Your laughter, your nuances set you apart from the rest.
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o

Your eyes are like flickers of flame, your face a mirror;
You are a heart-rendingly sad story
[repeat]
O please speak your heart out to me and tell me
What angers you so about yourself?
o o o o ho ho
o o o o o o

[repeat para 1]

Awesome tune no?

Loss

2006-06-16T20:25:00.000+01:00

So I've been thinking about whether it is the right thing to do or not and I've decided that whatever it is, it's my blog so I'll just let it out. On June 14 at 0545 (IST) we lost the fulcrum of our entire family. He was my mother's sun and stars and the pillar of inexhaustable strength for my sister and myself. Everyone has a set time and this was his- I've come to appreciate that much more and I guess it has helped me cope better than I expected. I think I've said enough- sleep well...

Zarqawi killed in Iraq air raid

2006-06-08T13:21:00.000+01:00

A triumph or the start of a revenge fuelled extremist backlash? I'd say both.

BBC NEWS | Middle East | Zarqawi killed in Iraq air raid

Oh p.s. I'm back.

Switching Off

2006-05-07T22:46:00.000+01:00

I'm signing out for a while...see y'all later.

Chilled out

2006-04-26T00:52:00.000+01:00

Hmm, I've been so damn busy playing Football Manager (Champ Manager of old) that blogging has become utterly secondary. I tried so hard not to install the damn thing, fearing for my exntire existence but something compelled me to do so. And so now, for about 2 weeks, I've been glued to the pc nights on end taking Inter Milan to the glorious heights they deserve.

So the Use of Weapons is now officially my most read book ever. I love it! And then we have the Player of Games which is also amazing. I'm moving on to some fiction now and will return to my Iain Banks reviews just as soon as I finish Hanif Kureishi's Buddha of Suburbia. Loving it so far- Kureishi is utterly unforgiving and vicious in his wit. His characters are well nourished with personality and life and well...it's one hell of a laugh.

Anyways, no inspiration to write much. In quite a chilled out mood right now listening to George Michael's Amazing. Superb song- very George Michael in melody but as a song- love it! Here's to Barca kicking AC Milan's ass tomorrow evening...sweet dreams!

Wicked Weekend!

2006-04-17T23:47:00.000+01:00

As I said in my last post, I love the holidays! I've had such a good time, I actually feel absolutely horrendous about getting back to work. Normally, I'm pretty cool about shit like that but I want weekends like this to go on just that little bit longer.

Thursday night was very chilled out- met up with a good friend for pannekoeken at "My Old Dutch" in Holborn and then chilled at home and read for ages. Since Sachin was down from Hong Kong, Friday was bound to be a night out and it didn't disappoint. Went over to Sid's during the day to chill and then hit the gym and finally headed up to Spice Rack in Queensbury (bungle bungle land!) for loads of chicken tikka and kebabs and a couple of Tuskers. Most of the guys turned up, which was awesome but because of a molto grande screw-up, we forgot to invite Pri (my fault). But all in all, a good night.

Then there was Saturday- played squash with Goks with a stomach ache from the night before's food. Man, I was in so much pain (but still kicked his ass), had a nosebleed after squash and then, strangely enough, went for a swim- weird huh? Headed back to pick up some stuff for my sister to drop off in Edgware Rd (with one of her mates who was heading back to Lagos), where I was due to meet Sid for din dins! After a quick 1 hour dinner at Beirut Express (Shish Tawuk..yumm), headed to Akbar's for a few cocktails with Jess and some of his friends and then back home, where I landed up watching Elizabethtown (see post below).

Along came Sunday, where I headed to Hampton Wick to meet Mary (a budding Thai Masseuse), who gave me a 2 hour Thai Massage (avec vetements, you filthy people) in the idyllic surroundings of her place right by the river. What a beautiful place it was- you needed to winch up a small drawbridge to get to her house- fantastic! Post-massage relaxation commenced with a couple of beers at Jess' place, who happened to organise a BBQ. After consuming obscene amounts of lamb chops and chicken wings, Sid dropped me home (and landed up chatting for almost two and a half hour) and then I watched Syriana, which was pretty cool.

And today's been another chilled out day. Went for a long swim and then met Pri and Sid for Ice Age 2 at Marble Arch Odeon. Wicked flick! Dinner was consumed at Patogh, an Irani/Afghan place off Edgware Rd who do the most phenomenal Koobideh Kebabs! YUM! And I had Ice-cream too! So you can see why I'm a happy chappy! Been a wicked weekend! No work, lots of exercise and sport, a massage, going out, movies and good food! Man, if only life was always like that! Off to bed now, sleep well...

Whimsical

2006-04-16T04:55:00.000+01:00

I love the holidays. So much to do and finally time to do it. Anyways, I haven't felt like this in so long and Elizabethtown seems to have brought it on. I know a lot of people will say it's a cheesy movie and sucks etc. but I enjoyed it- a lot. Kirsten Dunst was well...freakishly close to exactly what I want. Maybe it's the right mood but to me it was unique in that it was filled to the brim with goodwill and happiness.

And in these happy moments, a slightly whimsical but positive melancholy sets in and, almost inevitably, I listen to Nitin Sawhney's "Saudades". Complete non-sequitur I know but isn't it brilliant being arbitrary? Some lyrics from Saudades:

Saudades do Rio de Janeiro
....
Saudades is to miss you
Saudades is a yearning
Saudades is when the heart aches so
Saudades oh
...
This emptiness, this hollow feeling
I'm feeling the loss of you
Oh my amazing city
How I miss you
...
Saudades do Rio de Janeiro
...
To miss you
Yearning
When the heart aches so

It's almost 5am and I can't sleep. Too mellow and I don't want to lose this feeling. It comes so rarely now. Sleep well.

The Autonomous Mind

2006-04-10T00:23:00.000+01:00

I'm fucking bored. Wish I was at a strip-club!

The Threesome!!

2006-04-06T15:43:00.000+01:00

LUCKY BASTARD!!

Help Win My Bet

Last B'day Blog

2006-04-04T23:49:00.000+01:00

Been an awesome day! I'm fucking wasted! Felt awesome all day with the surprise at work being the best start, Sid, Pri and Jess taking it to a new level with a couple of bottles of vino rosso and then getting lashed with the other guys in Chaopraya in St. Christopher's Square.

So now, a bottle and a half of wine later, I have to say, it's been a wicked b'day and I can't wait for the main celebration on Friday. I LOVE YOU ALL! *BIG KISS*

Awesome Team!

2006-04-04T10:30:00.000+01:00

Totally love my team at work! Gave me a huge surprise this morning with B'day cake and my fave snack- popcorn! Check out the pic! AWESOME!

Oh my lord!

2006-04-04T00:29:00.000+01:00

Time does creep up on you indeed. I'm 27 now.

Was just thinking about some of the people in my life whom I've known for so long it seems like I've never not known them. There's Sid (17 years), Kapil (11 years), the Kants (Kanus, Goks, Tool, Pri, Jess, Sach, Berni, Dudu, JT etc) and Uni lot (Steve, Harry, Shak) (between 4 and 9 years) and of course Savi (9 years). Phenomenal when you think about the fact that we're all still so close!

I dunno, I always feel special on my b'day. Ridiculous as it sounds, it's when all the different aspects of my life connect. It's when all the different memories and feelings I have for people co-incide. All on one day. And all of that happening at one time, for some weird reason, makes me feel that, just for these few fleeting hours, I am the centre of the universe. Cool!

Use of Weapons

2006-04-03T10:55:00.000+01:00

Abridged version of an old review:

This Use of Weapons deals with the ’’Contact’’ section of the Culture- more specifically ’’Special Circumstances’’. Essentially, Use of Weapons is the story of Cheradenine Zakalwe, a non-citizen of the Culture, who had been employed by Special Circumstances to influence conflicts on a variety of planets and move their philosophies in the direction of the Culture. It involves another viewpoint, Diziet Sma (along with her sentient drone Skeffen-Amtiskaw), Cheradenine’s former ’’control’’, so to speak, trying to bring him out of retirement to complete a final mission.

The book now diverges into two distinct threads. The main branch of the story moves forward in time with Sma pursuing and successfully convincing Zakalwe to come out of retirement and complete a final mission. The second plot moves backwards in time, recounting Zakalwe’s grim adventures as a Special Circumstances agent all the way up to his recruitment into Special Circumstances and his experiences before coming into contact with the Culture. This is where we delve into the mind of Zakalwe and understand why his soul is so tortured and his outlook so grim. The climax of the book leads to some astounding revelations.

Science-Fiction is too simple a classification for a book of this calibre. The universe in which it exists and the ideology itself behind the Culture is incredibly vast and encompasses a visionary’s imagination. It removes all restriction from constructive and imaginative energy and for once analyses the human conditions within the extreme situations that are so common to Sci-Fi personas. It is a dark novel describing a desolate mind with such empathy that the reader is almost filled with pathos for Zakalwe and his actions. You don’t have to read Banks’ other Culture novels to understand Use of Weapons, nevertheless, it would help further explain the philosophy of the Culture. Use of Weapons in itself, though, is a tour de force both in prose and in understanding the human mind. It is a book of such complexity and sinister motives that I felt at times moved and at times frightened. Abandon your current book and devour this feast of imaginative literature- you’ll not regret it!

The world catches up

2006-04-03T10:45:00.000+01:00

It's always interesting to see how the rest of the world deals with changing times. I love the fact that blogging has become so popular and it's such a refreshing way of empowering people by allowing them to express their opinions in a free and easy environment.

BBC NEWS | Technology | US cook wins blogging book prize

Planet Earth Again!

2006-04-02T22:00:00.000+01:00

Supreme! It's back in the autumn but I cannot wait till the DVD's out in Dec! What an amazing prog!

BBC - Science & Nature - Planet Earth

200

2006-04-02T02:42:00.000+01:00

My 200th post and that too from my new PC. Awesome!

Daisy Fuentes

2006-03-31T00:52:00.000+01:00

Woah! Now when I get married and say my wife looks this good at 39, I'm going to be totally happy!

Check her out!

Hmm....again

2006-03-30T01:11:00.000+01:00

Quite a weird article. I'm not quite sure what these guys are actually trying to say? Lose weight and you'll shag better? No shit Sherlock, if you're too fat your stomach might get in the way! Credit to Amit Varma on India Uncut (See sidebar) for his link.

Want to improve your sex life?

Drool...

2006-03-29T01:45:00.000+01:00

Perfection

Aston Martin - The Cars - Vanquish S

The Player of Games

2006-03-29T01:36:00.000+01:00

Oh will someone fix the Tube! It took me over one and half hours to get from Euston Square to South Ken when it ought to have taken me about 35mins. Anyways, given the revenues from the tube are about £150million a month + an extra £80-90 million in subsidies from the government, you'd have thought that something would be right with it? Useless!!

Anyways, so my Iain M. Banks season continues and today we have on our plate the book that got me hooked- The Player of Games. The premise of the story is quite simple really; Jernau Gurgeh, a citizen of the Culture, is a master games-player, consistently defeating his contemporaries with some disdain. He's achieved pretty much all he's ever desired but has now become jaded with his topic of research (games). He, however, plays on to maintain his position in the hierarchy. To that extent though, Gurgeh loathes his utopian existence within the Culture and constantly tries to renew his joy for life by courting near-death and perilous experiences.

Despite his rather dour disposition, Gurgeh is approached by Special Circumstances, a section of the Culture that deals with external civilisations (as close to MI5 as they get), who give him the opportunity to play the ultimate game, Azad, found in a competing empire of the same name- Azad. The empire is tri-gender society, comprised of males, females and intermediates where only the latter are allowed to engage in the game of Azad, which in turn determines social rank and, as a consequence, the ultimate ruler of the empire, the Emperor of Azad. And the rest is for you to read, my friends.

Reactions to the this book have generally been polarised in that people have either adored it or not really "got" it. I fall into the former category and it was the cleverness of the game of Azad itself that got me hooked on to all of Banks' Culture novels. In essence, Azad aims to represent reality to such a degree that a player's own political and philosophical outlook can be expressed in play (the idea being that rival ideologies are essentially "tested" in the game before the winners can apply them in reality). What we see beyond that is how Gurgeh's application of a particular ideology unwittingly reflects the culture of the Culture. Superb.

Aside from that, it is an interesting study of human nature and the end is beautifully crafted throwing up surprises and massively impressive physical confrontations. The game itself is not explained in detail by Banks but rather situations surrounding the game, feelings to be precise, describe well enough Gurgeh's motives and tactics. There's cheating as well to add a touch more realism and some extraordinary ideas shine through such as Game Theory (implicitly) and their like when it comes to direct competition.

I can understand why people have divided opinions over this book- it is more than any other Culture novel about adventure and action and is less "dark" than the others too. However, the more cultured reader will understand and appreciate complexity of the plethora of political ideologies Banks has masterfully woven into the Azad. Furthermore, we get a deeper understanding of the Culture and their considered and cunning approach to political intervention. Highly recommended!

Sleepless in London

2006-03-28T15:10:00.000+01:00

I know the feeling!

Independent Online Edition > Health Medical > Sleepless nights

Consider Phlebas

2006-03-26T23:39:00.000+01:00

The first of Iain M. Banks' Culture novels and a true space opera in every sense of the word. Unlike some of his later and more complex novels, the timeline of Consider Phlebas is linear and easy to follow and is filled with action, action and more action.

The events presented in the novel take place during a war between the Culture (our hedonistic civilisation) and the Idirans (a strongly religious and now bellicose civilisation of 3-limbed creatures) at a specific time when a Culture Mind (sentient artificial intelligence) has escaped to Schar's World, a forbidden Planet of the Dead. Horza, our protagonist (if one can call him that), is a Changer (Humanoid Shapeshifter) who has been hired by the Idirans to retrieve the Mind from Schar's world so that it can be interrogated / destroyed by the Idirans. Harrowing him on his journey is Culture agent, Perosteck Balveda. Although actively participating in the war, Perosteck is deeply ambivalent of the methods her faction uses in the war.

There are a few interesting outlooks characterised in this book. The first that springs to my mind is Perosteck's ambivalence and her mental battle that keeps her fighting for the culture. Secondly, I liked the idea of Horza being the lone protagonist who actually believes he'll make a difference, which is then contrasted toward the end of the book, which represents the futility of war. It's an interesting question given that Banks readily poses the question, "Why bother?". And lastly, there's the (misplaced?) pathos of war and the poor bastards who are stuck in it. Banks is a master of pathos and if you read more of his works (Use of Weapons, Against a Dark Background to mention a few) you'll not see an explicit burst of emotion but an underpinned and understated thrum of feeling like the loose vibration of an apartment floor when a train rolls past in the distance.

This might not be the easiest read in the world because of its long, descriptive passages for those of you who're interested in instant gratification. However, it is a good introduction (arguably- The Player of Games is pretty decent too) to the Culture and of course all of Iain M. Banks' sci-fi novels. Nevertheless, a worthy and imminently enjoyable read!

**Trivia: Consider Phlebas takes its title from a line in T. S. Eliot's poem The Waste Land

Iain M. Banks

2006-03-26T00:09:00.000Z

I'm thinking of doing a profile on authors on here- well specifically one author- Iain M. Banks. He's been a massive influence in my life when it comes to choice of literary material and his books have often struck me with awe when I think about the scope and characters that he fits into a few hundred pages. Possibly one of the best sci-fi writers of all time. As quoted from Wikipedia:

Much of Banks' science fiction deals with a pan-galactic civilisation, the Culture, which he has developed in some detail over the course of six novels and a collection of short stories.

* Consider Phlebas (1987)
* The Player of Games (1988)
* Use of Weapons (1991)
* Excession (1996)
* Inversions (1998) (makes covert references to the protagonists being Culture citizens)
* Look to Windward (2000)

His other, non-Culture, science fiction novels are:

* Against a Dark Background (1993)
* Feersum Endjinn (1994)
* The Algebraist (2004)

Anyways, I'll start profiling and reviewing all of the above books one by one- I might have read them a while ago but their impact on me was such that to this day the plots and the characters remain fresh in my mind. My favourite though, is the Use of Weapons and you can find a previous review of it here.

I'm off! Sleep well..

Virtues

2006-03-25T23:08:00.000Z

"The contours of all our virtues are shaped by adversity."
Gregory David Roberts

Not strictly true but thought-provoking nevertheless.

The Durability of an Immortal

2006-03-25T13:08:00.000Z

The world has criticised Sachin Tendulkar, calling him "a walking wicket" and then booing him on his own home ground in my own city Bombay. Unimaginable! It's frustrating to see him bat poorly through three series but everyone has a bad run of form. That doesn't mean he no longer has the talent or appetite and he echoes this in an interview with Outlook India below.

'Retirement? I'm Not Interested In The Question' : outlookindia.com

As you age, you begin to mellow and the one-off hurricane he once was has turned into a more consistent monsoon. And yes, everyone deserves to be questioned despite their "greatness" (as was the case with Steve Waugh and Sourav Ganguly) but to boo Sachin because he's going through a tough patch is plain pathetic. How can you when he's been India's batting stalwart for almost 17 years and is still only 33. In 17 years, he's had 1 bad year and instead of supporting him, our country boos him? Sad indeed.

I know Rahul Dravid is more consistent and the general populous turn to him more as a role model in life and in how to deal with pressure and people. But Sachin is beyond a role model- he's got an exceptionally special place in the heart of India. He gave joy and hope to people through his batting and gave them flamboyant dreams to aspire to. There have been very few like him and only few more of the same calibre will wield the willow in the future. Let us give him- he who has given so much- let us give him our love and support when he needs it most.

Rest assured though I know in 12 weeks' time when he returns from injury to play the Windies, I'll be shouting out "Sachiiiiiiiiiiiiiin!! Sachin!!" be it alone in front of the telly or with mates around to herald my support for the joy that is Sachin Tendulkar.

Drop It Like It's Hoff

2006-03-24T10:28:00.000Z

1 word...CLASS!

Drop It Like It's Hoff

Jilbab or not?

2006-03-24T00:17:00.000Z

So the Shabina Begum / Denbigh School ruling has come to a close in the House of Lords and Shak has written a fantastically balanced blog on the whole affair. I must say I'm glad that Lord Bingham ruled that the school was fully justified in what it did. But I do feel not a little disgust at the hardliners who have taken the affair too far in my opinion.

The girl was given the opportunity to wear clothes that were Islamically acceptable (as ratified by the Muslim Council of the UK) and, in addition, the expectation of school rules were set before she joined the school- hell, they are set with anyone who joins a school. And hey, she did always have the opportunity to leave the school and go to another that allowed her to retain her modesty. Sometimes one has to sacrifice a little for their beliefs if you hold strongly to them. I still cannot fathom how this got past the court of appeal though, who missed the point that although she had a right and freedom to religion, she could not manifest it in such a way as to compromise the ability of the school to implement discipline- Matrix Chambers must really be as good as one of my friends says it is.

Interestingly enough, some people might say that not allowing the jilbab will reinforce disunity and discourage more open-minded and secular values. I can see very little (not much at all) traction in a statement like that. However, having been to a school that allowed uniforms, I think there are advantages in having them- creating a sense of unity is definitely one of them and of course hiding poverty/wealth and developing a sense of equality amongst your peers is another. And yes, it does contribute to instill the important quality of discipline by setting a dress code that needs to be followed.

As for allowing the jilbab arousing an insecurity of faith within other school children (as Shak mentions in his blog), that's a more interesting fact to discuss. I guess introducing "differences" to children at an early age is all well and good but conversely it can also create a huge amount of tension in a multi-ethnic, multi-race school, where children are not always mature enough to deal with such sensitive issues appropriately. Moreover, it's not just kids from other religions whose faith could be plagued with insecurity but also those of Muslim kids themselves who choose not to wear a jilbab and feel their own freedom of choice threatened. The whole point of the school's earlier compromise with their school uniform was to make the situation non-competitive and non-threatening for EVERYONE (that includes Muslims, Hindus, Sikhs etc). Now, it's not unusual to think from the idealist's standpoint that one must strive for complete integration but the reality of life is compromise. And the school did just that in my honest opinion.

In some ways though, I'm glad that the whole affair has been given exposure. For once we see, in my opinion, a positive outcome where the law has judged accurately based on a strong case and common sense with the degree of fairness one would expect. And, furthermore, it gives some power back to schools, who are under immense pressure already to keep up with the absurd and uber-politically correct (baa baa rainbow sheep?!!) sentiment that is gaining more foothold in everyday life. And finally, it thwarts the more hardline elements within society today, empowering the moderates (liberals? or are they too liberal? heheh) a little more. Let's hope we see more of this (common sense) in the future.

Playing Doctor

2006-03-22T01:05:00.000Z

So we have a smart 12yr old who reckons he'll find the cure for cancer. Excellent! I'm hoping he does. But to parade and ridicule his naivety on TV was quite poor form especially by the Imperial College Profs who were a little disdainful at times (and hey, I went there remember?!). I mean he's 12ish- a kid at the end of the day- cut him some slack and don't expect him to be socially spot on or mature just appreciate his gifts for now. Anyways, great expectations from a little man!

Read more about Akrit Jaswal

Anyways, so about the interview- got a call and apparently they were very impressed. As I said in my earlier post, there was no definitive role available for Q1 but they're trying to see if they can fit me for Q2. However, I was quite confident I'd done enough and well the feedback was good. I am now top of their wait-list for roles to turn up and one of the top candidates they interviewed in Q1, which is obviously something that fills me with much satisfaction. Let's see how the cookie crumbles.

Awesome!

2006-03-20T13:53:00.000Z

This is sad- sad indeed but so funny. I mean prejudices and the ways in which men push women, society pushes women are amazing. And the solutions that women come up with are equally cunning and devious in a nefarious sort of way. However, the ones who do it for pleasure- well now there's a wicked idea! Read and enjoy!

Get under the knife, be a virgin again!- The Times of India

The Hitch Itch

2006-03-19T00:46:00.000Z

Just got back from Joey's leaving do, which in effect turned out to be a double celebration as Ben, an old friend of ours, has just proposed to his GF. As usual, we all had a wicked night, chatting about old times and uni etc and of course of all the new developments in life. But the one thing I noticed is how our IC groups have now begun to blossom with partners and wives. Weird considering how marriage and commitment seem like such grown up things to do and that's the last thing I feel.

Anyways, there are plans afoot to find the right one soon(ish). I'm not sure if I'm ready to get married yet but I know I'm close- just so many things to do man! I dunno...I'm confused. Wouldn't mind getting hitched and settling down. Hell, 27 is just round the corner. About time I started thinking about it as a more realistic than fictitoius thing.

Anyways, I'm off to bed.

Paintball and Update

2006-03-18T00:43:00.000Z

Just got back a little while ago from paintballing and drinks and what an awesome day it's been! You guys have got to try it out (Click here to check out the website). So I'm a bit bruised and tired but the rush was fantastic and the free for all in the end was mad!! I'm definitely doing an outdoors one in the summer man!

Anyways, so an update on the final round interview. I think I did well. The structure was pretty straightforward- one hour prep for a presentation, followed by the pres itself (15mins + 45mins for questions) and then a behavioural interview (1 hour) and a technical interview (1 hour). Preceeding all of this was a short talk by one of the partners about the co etc.

Anyways, the case study was pretty interesting in that I got a choice of four and I chose to speak about "Challenges faced in a major IT Implementation in the Public Sector". In terms of content, I'm quite sure I aced it given that I've been working on the Connecting for Health (CfH) programme for over two and a half years now. Structure could have been better though but hey, let's see. Anyways, the presentation was quite interactive and lasted 45mins and the interviewers were pretty fair on the whole, although I'm not sure they were public sector people themselves so didn't seem to "get" what I was talking about a fair amount of the time.

As for the other two interviews, I believe they went well. Quite positive about those as I connected well with the interviewers and gave relatively compelling answers to all the questions. So let's see. It's not looking too bad but I can see how all the guys would have thought of me as a little cocky and a bit of a smart-arse. Oh well...will find out on Monday or Tuesday so let's see.

Anyways, I'm absolutely shattered now! Gonna sleep. More to come. Sleep well...

Paintball

2006-03-16T23:56:00.000Z

What a knackering week! Just got home and am exhausted. But all good for tomorrow as the whole team at work is going paint-balling. Wicked! Going to be painful man but I'm kinda looking forward to it. Anyways, off to sleep.

Happy Holi

2006-03-14T10:24:00.000Z

Happy Holi All! Man, I miss the colours so much!

Hmm..

2006-03-14T00:56:00.000Z

Final round today. Should be interesting I hope.

The Greatest

2006-03-12T19:50:00.000Z

Witness! And weep! What an incredible match!!! I don't think I'll ever witness anything quite like it in cricket in my remaining years. Superb! And to top it off- it was against the Aussies! Khwatish!

5th ODI: South Africa v Australia at Johannesburg, 12 Mar 2006

Pondering

2006-03-12T00:59:00.000Z

It's raining outside, the billowing wind thrashing raindrops against my window. I love hearing that sound. It fills me with quietude and reminiscense. Sigh..

I just finished watching The Constant Gardener. Fabulous movie. Intelligently shot and well acted. Unlike most Hollywood films, there were swathes of information not served to you on a platter but left to your own intelligence to deduce. Rachel Weisz was scathingly beautiful and breezy fresh! And Ralph Fiennes was strong and yet so typically British and understated. A movie such as this reminds me of the fragility as well as the brutality of human nature. I suppose we seek to redress balance in everything. But yes, loved it and highly recommend it!

Night..

A perfect parody

2006-03-11T17:54:00.000Z

A supreme pardody of that most contemptuous book; Dan Brown's Da Vinci Code.

Ubersite - The Michealangelo Code (I WROTE A FUCKING BESTSELLER!)

Confused

2006-03-11T17:51:00.000Z

Another Saturday, another hangover. Not so bad as the last one but none of them are all that great to be honest. I think I'm just going to stay in bed the rest of the day and keep falling in and out of sleep. Gym tomorrow...?

It's been such a long week of work (bar yesterday) that I've not really had time to do much. Watched Road to Guantanmo a few days ago and it was as good as I imagined it would be. The kids who went into Afghanistan weren't a particularly smart bunch given the timing and all the information that was available about it but juxtapose what happened to them and it's an incomparable payback for their misconceptions. Quite sad that they couldn't even get to see lawyers. The prison conditions were...unsurprisingly inhumane. I'm not sure if I want to say anything more about that.

The world's just not a good place to be in at the moment- quite a poignant if obvious observation one of the guys made. And something I read today reminded me of that a little. The context is a conversation between a town-dweller woman (Samar Dev) and a warrior from a tribal society (Karsa Orlong) in Steven Erikson's The Bonehunters (Book 6 of The Malazan Book of the Fallen) and the discussion is about the stifling of "progress";

"'You spit on satisfaction, leaving you always unsettled and miserable. I am a Teblor- we live simple enough, and we see the cruelty of your so-called progress. Slaves, children in chains, a thousand lies to make one person better than the next, a thousand lies telling you how this is how things should be, and there's no stopping it. Madness called sanity, slavery called freedom. I am done talking now.'
'Well, I'm not. You're no different, calling ignorance wisdom, savagery noble. Without striving to make things better, we're doomed to repeat our litany of injustices--'
Karsa reached for the summit and turned to face her, his expression twisting. 'Better is never what you think it is, Samar Dev.'"

Quite an interesting discussion in that we get to see both sides of the coin- the viewpoint of an old society and the viewpoint of a progressive one- an allegory to some extent of what's happening today; the "Progressive West" v "The 3rd World East". It's weird. I'm not sure what to think at the moment about all that's going on in the world. Information overload. I need to spend some time figuring it all out for myself because for now, to put it simply, I'm confused. Injustice on one hand, suicide bombings one the other; the west v the east; "democracy" v "fundamentalism". It's all such a fucking mess that thinking about it makes my brain hurt and that's without alcohol throwing in some extra punches.

I'm going to go take a nap....

Interesting Links

2006-03-05T19:46:00.000Z

YouTube - Remaja india

Wicked! Tamils on the loose in the US. Savs, Madan- this is for you guys.

And on a more serious note, a brilliant blog about poverty in India. This is something that really opens one's eyes. Touching...

How the other half lives...

**Update

And following that an absolutely amazing programme that I watched on the beeb! Planet Earth- superb. Watch it. It'll really blow your mind. The images are pristine and what was impressive was the slow-mo shot of the great white shark and the hunting dog pack. Sweet!! Here's some images.

Weirdness

2006-03-05T19:29:00.000Z

Hmm, weekends can be witness to such weirdness now and then. Take this, I'm sitting next to some typical Chelsea rude-boys at the cinema last night (cue movie review in a mo) and someone gets killed in said movie (not unexpectedly I might add) at which point, said Chelsea rude-boy screams out "That's big, blaad!". Complete twat. Another point to note, I'm sitting on the No. 328 bus going from Chelsea to West Hampstead. An incredible looking Oriental chick happens to sit down next to me (I didn't stare!!). She's beautiful. And then she opens her mouth and exhales and I gag from the pungent cocktail of caustic gases that stream out of her mouth. Sweet moses, her breath was like the dust of hell. It stank of sulphur and several other compounds of sulphur. What a complete disappointment- a hot girl whose mouth smells like a rhino's ass (see picture).

So anyways, the aforementioned movie review is now on the cards. I watched Lucky Number Slevin last night and was suitably impressed. The dialogue was intelligent, the story was passably smart and the acting was pretty cool. Our protagonist, Slevin (Josh Hartnett), is having a general run of bad-luck, which lands up escalating exponentially to "shit-that's-the-worst-luck-ever". He does get lucky with Lindsey (Lucy Liu- the Chelsea rude-boy's own words to describe her were, "Raa bra, she looks well soft..") but on the downside, he encounters two major villains in the form of The Boss (Morgan Freeman) and The Rabbi Shlomo (Sir Ben Kingsley) with Goodkat (Bruce Willis), a professional assassin, playing all sides from behind the scenes. Moreover, Slevin gets tangled up with the police as well as a gay Jewish dude and a couple of ex-Mossad agents. Class!

What I liked about the movie was the fact that it had you thinking behind the scenes all the time; like putting a puzzle together in your head piece by piece until all is revealed in the bigger picture / climax. Some people may figure it out before the climax but some small gaps will remain unknown until the climax itself. Enough to keep you interested, I'd bargain. So all in all, an enjoyable a flick- very watchable and a good one if you're at a loose end.

And finally, I bought a couple of books over the weekend too. One being the long awaited new installment from Steven Erikson, The Bonehunters (Book 6 of The Malazan Book of the Fallen), and the other being Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts, neither of which I have started reading as I still have to finish off re-reading Midnight Tides (Book 5 of The Malazan Book of the Fallen). Looking forward to both of those indeed! Sigh...so much to read and so little time! I'm bored of writing now so will probably write some more later. See y'all soon!

Note to self...

2006-03-03T01:13:00.000Z

Fill in your fucking tax return on time, you idiot!

On days like this, I utterly detest myself for being the chairman in chief of procrastinators. It pisses me off that I can sort out my work stuff with such alarming aptitude and be so shoddy with my own, personal stuff. I totally fucking suck!

Positive Direction

2006-02-28T02:04:00.000Z

So I had my first taste of caffeine in a couple of weeks and was totally buzzing from it to the point of feeling sick! No more coffee for me..EVER (ok not for a while at least). Aside from that, it's been quite a productive day and, having finally set some goals for the year ahead, I felt the need to share them with all and sundry. I know it's a little late given that it's the end of Feb but it's taken a lot to get to these; and so here they are in priority order:

Sort out my British Passport. The procrastination has gone on way too long and now I don't even have the excuse of not wanting to give up being an Indian national with dual nationality available! Target: end of next week to tie up loose ends on the form

Invest to earn a 2nd income. I've spent far too long wanting to learn about investing and company valuation and not enough time actually learning. Target: 15% RoI on any capital investment for the year 2006 (Very tough but one must set aggressive goals, I say)

Get 700+ on my GMAT to get into any Ivy League B-School. I guess I'd be aiming for about 710-720 to have any hope of getting an interview with Harvard or Stanford. I've stolen Gokul's GMAT course books and so far, with a few months of study, should be do-able. Target: take the exam by Sept and then complete all the apps by Nov

Hmm, there's other minor ones as well such as creating more options for myself (professionally speaking), earning more cash in my current job etc etc but I'll not bore you with detail. I'm just glad that after so many years I finally have a "real" plan of action and one I know I have to pursue with singular dedication to achieve. It feels good to have a little direction instead of being stuck in a ceaseless rut of 70 hour weeks and the gym so I'm brimming with a fair amount of optimism (despite the bloody plague!). I just pray that I can get off my lazy arse and do it all. Fingers crossed...

Injustice

2006-02-27T00:59:00.000Z

Sickening read. More to come on this on here...

The Hindu: All accused acquitted in Jessica Lal murder case

**Update

I was pondering a little more on the Jessica Lal murder today and I guess the shock is dying down a little but the hurt still remains. To say that this is a grave injustice is putting it lightly. It's amazing how one person can shake an entire nation's convictions and Manu Sharma and his cronies have done just that. Quite sad that all of this is blamed on police incompetence. I mean let's juxtapose Salman Khan being sentenced for killing a Nilgai and Manu Sharma being set free for killing a Human. I guess I have to succumb to Haroon's musings of a few days ago- the value of human life is less than that of an animal. It's been proven time and again in the past few months.

If a country's justice system is so corrupt and flawed that it can be manipulated to this end, how much faith can we have in India? Don't get me wrong, I love my country and miss so many things about it. But now no one can say that the rich and the powerful don't get away with murder. Based on the court verdict "if nobody killed her, how did she die" is the question that is being asked the most. And a good question it is too. Anyways for now, I just have one thing left to say to India...thanks for the nausea and the shame.

Road to recovery

2006-02-26T22:42:00.000Z

Got a wicked suggestion from Madan today:

Madan says:
you should start a website giving us a minute-by-minute update of your health..with a webcam pic, a current mood, and a what's on my playlist section
Madan says:
Road To Recovery : The Alimchandani Saga
Rohit says:
hahaha
Rohit says:
that is such an awesome idea

What a classic suggestion! I should have taken it up and whacked on updated web-pics as well no? Anyways, I am on the road to recovery thankfully and will be back perched at my work-desk tomorrow. Scarily enough, I'm looking forward to that but not with as much enthusiasm as one might think. And hey, thanks to Kunal's mom for her fantastic mutton biryani, I don't even have any culinary complaints. Not bad eh?

So I watched Sideways this evening- really good movie. Liked the whole mid-life frustration theme contrasted with the "sow your pre-marital oats" theme. Brilliant acting and surprisingly funny with an ending that allows you to sculpt where it goes. Moreover, I actually know people like that in real-life or people who, I can bet my last penny on this, will turn out like one of these guys.

All in all, a decent day. Can't complain. Now I need to fall asleep early so I can wake up in time for work. I better start trying now. Sleep well..

The Bomb!

2006-02-25T13:33:00.000Z

Hottie! Check it!

Deathbed + Plague

2006-02-24T13:48:00.000Z

Warning! I am feeling exceptionally sorry for myself at the moment! Begin Rant!

I'm still ill! Fuckshitfuckshitfuckshit! Man, I am bored out of my mind! Four days of staying at home with crap food sucks! I cannot drop this fever, the cold is persistent and the cough annoying. I haven't been this ill for about 5 years and now know that I so should have stayed a little sober last Friday as these seem to be the after-effects. And the picture on the right is of the enemy- die!!

Anyways, in my infinite boredom trying to cross this endless desert of ill-time, I have just one thought...I wish they did mom's food as takeout. Yes my friends, food has been the over-riding factor for me this week after surviving on cereal and toast these last few days. I do not have the energy to get out of bed much, let alone cook so have been taking the easy route out but if I never saw a bowl of cornflakes again (ok not never) then it'd be too soon (you get the gist).

In fact, I had bought some soup (Lamb Goulash- I love Goulash yummm) for dinner yesterday. So I go into the kitchen and heat it up and as the aroma wafts my way, I'm thinking, I'm not going to like this much. Nevertheless, I thought I'd give it a go and had a taste..I fucking gagged! It tasted like something you'd catch diptheria off (SHIT!). I tried to salvage it with a few spices and the like but to no avail. And thus I had to ditch the whole fucking thing and move on to cereal and jam toast. :(

Anyways, the last time I was properly ill was in Lagos I think and there ahhh the pampering. Any food I wanted always available, freshly squeezed juices and medicines galore. Living alone in London sucks that way- very few people even bother asking after you let alone help you recuperate. Understandably so but that's because everyone's so busy- but still it'd be nice to get a call once in a while. Sigh...a little tlc would go a long way though. I'm off to my deathbedridden state, lying prone in bed with a book or a pc in hand. Have a nice day!

End of rant and self-pity post!

Keats

2006-02-23T00:28:00.000Z

A fantastic poet whom I got interested principally due to Dan Simmons' Hyperion Cantos, practically an ode to John Keats. Born in North London in 1795, Keats began life as a surgeon and only assumed the role of full-time poet in 1816. And all the while he lived, his work was much maligned- even his great epic poems Endymion and the incomplete Hyperion- with true recognition of genius arriving posthumously. He died alone in 1821 at the young age of 26 and was buried under a tomb stone reading "Here lies one whose name was writ in water."

Given the pathos that one feels regarding Keats' short life, he still wrote, in contrast to his nature, happy verse. And being a romantic poet (of the romantic era as opposed to "romantic love") the language he used was rich and exuberant, colourful and sensuous employing an imagination that tickled the soul. And so, dear readers, I thought I'd introduce you to Keats with a short poem that reads like so:

Bright Star

Bright star, would I were steadfast as thou art
Not in lone splendour hung aloft the night,
And watching, with eternal lids apart,
Like nature's patient sleepless eremite,
The moving waters at their priestlike task
Of pure ablution round earth's human shores,
Or gazing on the new soft-fallen mask
Of snow upon the mountains and the moors;
No yet still steadfast, still unchangeable,
Pillow'd upon my fair love's ripening breast,
To feel for ever its soft fall and swell,
Awake for ever in a sweet unrest,
Still, still to hear her tender-taken breath,
And so live ever or else swoon to death.

John Keats

This was one of the first Keats poems I read and despite enjoying it intially only really derived true pleasure from it when I looked away from just the lyrical beauty of words he uses to the meaning and imagery portrayed in the words themselves. He contrasts the unchanging and the timeless with flux and motionn and comes to a realisation that joy can be achieved here and now and he would contentedly die in the lap of love. Pretty awesome! Anyways, just something I'd been reading these past few weeks, so I thought I'd blog it on here. Sleep well..

Absolute Classic!

2006-02-22T16:40:00.000Z

This is hilarious! Cheers Pri!

Tourette Syndrome Help

**Edit

Couldn't leave without adding this:

How to spot a paedophile

Rest

2006-02-21T23:43:00.000Z

I've got lurgies! Nasty! I now feel as plague ridden as a London rat in 1665! Anyways, so I didn't go to work but still landed up doing some work at home. Quite sad, I know, but better than getting bored eh? Not going to go tomorrow either unless tres importantes choses turn up.

So yes, sometimes it's good to take a break from the world and just chill at home. I read loads, watched the footy and some figure skating (women's of course) as well as the Dubai Open match between Hingis and Mirza. And ordered a pizza to make myself feel better. It helped a little but I think I'll stick to chicken and salad in the future ya know!

It's weird how being at home I've thought about less stuff than when I'm out and about given how much time I spend just pondering. One thing I haven't done in a while is just go out on my own and spend time out of the house with myself. It's strange how I think of this given that Shak just wrote about going for a movie on his jones. It's been so long since I did that, I don't even remember the movie. Obviously something unspectacular. But yes, ah those heady days of independent cinema!

Amongst other things though, it's great to close your eyes to some atmospheric tunes and glide through the deserts of time oblivious to reality. Here's what's on my current playlist (all from di.fm):

Retrodelica Megamix (February 2005) - mixed by Morlack

1. The Future Sound Of London - Smokin Japanese Babe
2. Ju-Ju Space Jazz - Pizza
3. 100th Monkey - Eclipse Dub
4. Aix Vibration - Curly Top
5. The Kumba Mela Experiment - The Khumba Mela (Himalayan Dub)
6. Tomato Sleuth - Baked Boanz
7. Tripswitch - Shamanic Tea
8. Celtic Cross - Louden
9. Noodreem - Cosmic Jam
10. Spacefish - Aerospace
11. Ju-Ju Space Jazz - Undercover Mystic
12. Aphex Twin - Ventolin (The Coppice Mix)
13. Eat Static - Temponaut
14. Matthew Boone - Magie Der Sehnsucht
15. Liquid Stranger - Rubbermaid Dub
16. Rauschfactor - Der Sonnensegler
17. Spacefish - El Cielo
18. Great Leap Forward - Aurora Australis
19. Hydraulic - Nagin
20. Sonic Fusion - Heartbeats
21. Grey Area - Routing
22. Quaid - Far Syded
23. Darshan - Spectra
24. 12 Moons - Zero Gravity (Vocoda Mix)
25. Quaid - Cascade
26. James Holden - Nothing (Dub Mix)
27. Makyo - Pura (the Goagaiach Edit)
28. Shpongle - Shpongle Falls

Pick up some of these songs (especially the ones by Tripswitch, Darshan, Markyo, Shpongle and Aix Vibrations), turn off the lights but leave the curtains open so you get some ambient light and shadows and lay back peacefully absorbing the vibes. I love the way shadows play in the dark- fitful and insubstantial, they can dance with such sensuality and flirt with your eyes. Such precious moments these are when they happen.

Anyways, I better sleep. Eyes are burning...